Coopertown Everglades Airboat Tour – Miami, FL


My current love interest and I received a groupon for this airboat ride as a Christmas present, so on a whim we decided yesterday to go for a spin in the sawgrass. It has been a chilly week in Florida, around 55ish, so it was fun bundling up like a couple of puss ass bitches who can’t handle brisk air on the tips of our noses while the wind dick slapped us in the face. 


boats and waterway

The first thing they had us do was take our photo in front of a green screen for a thrilling souvenir pic. 


We then loaded into the boat as the guide gave us some safety tips. Basically don’t jump out and keeps your kids in check. The water is like 1.5 feet deep in most areas out there right now, so it’s nothing crazy but it’s cool to fly across the clear water and see the fish and alligators right next to you. 



alligator cruising nearby


this one is named “scar”


blind alligator with white eyes and skinny tail due to difficulty capturing food using only sensors around his mouth


It truly was a beautiful day. While on the boat we saw three alligators, a soft shell turtle, a king fisher (cute fluffy bird), a great blue heron, a white ibis, and little fishies cruising. The guide had a great attitude and cracked a few cheesy jokes, just my style. The ride felt incredibly short, but it was about 30 minutes. The route was out in the open where we got some speed and swooshed around a bit, then back along a narrower canal where 28 alligators are known to chill. 

lady behind me had so much fun she died


blue heron ahead


Upon our return we were offered an opportunity to hold a baby alligator and take a picture. We passed because it made us feel uncomfortable. I didn’t like how greedy other people were being, trying to huddle in and push against one anther to get close. Fucking relax, man. Thankfully the guide was doing his best to get everyone to be respectful of the process and animal, but I still hate frantic people and don’t need to be part of that.

They had about 8 alligators in enclosures, one that was brought there to live due to its aggression in residential areas (therefore deemed a nuisance gator) and others that have lived their lives in captivity and depend on humans. The enclosures seemed suitable, but I’m an alligator purist and prefer to see them in swamps. They did not have an alligator wrestling show as many of these places do; rather, there was a guy who gave a low-key educational wildlife presentation and let us touch a small gator and snake in a very soft and respectful way. 


that’s a big bitch


wildlife show

Overall, all of the staff were pleasant. The airboat was fun, the captive animals seem cared for and the staff seems to give a hoot about them. Airboats give us an opportunity to experience more of the Everglades than is possible on foot, so I like them. 

Located on Tamiami Trail.

22700 SW 8th St, Miami FL 33194

From here, we took Tamiami east until we realized we were on the famous Calle Ocho. We stopped at Versailles Bakery for Cuban coffee, flan, and rum cake. The tres leeches cake here is also like whoa. 

From here, we continued traveling east and ended up on Key Biscayne, where we explored around and watched the sunset. That’s another post. 

More info:

Coopertown Airboats
Coopertown Airboats on Trip Advisor

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